The Shroud Of Death

I know that it has been quite a while since DSB has posted, but I haven't had much to post content wise.
When Margot and I started this blog together we figured that since we were both dating, we would have more content to contribute as a team, as opposed to say...just me writing about my dating-life.
As you can well see it was a good idea.

But then Margot fell in love. And that was the end of her contribution here.
Look back a few posts and you will see. She didn't even say good-bye to us here at DSB.

Bad Margot!

And so since DSP is now just me, I haven't had much to say because I had not been dating this summer.

But one night, I did get online and found an interesting advert. and I responded to it.

Late fouties, interesting, articulate etc...
Nice looking photo. A very nice looking photo.

We met at the Distillary District at 6pm.
It was raining - then stopped - then raining again...
We went to an oyster place. Sat outside under big umbrella.
I did resist the indoors with air conditioning and noise.
I did insist on table with large umbrella outdoors, despite impending rain.

We ordered a drink and a dozen oysters.
He bantered with the server, all quite fun.

He looked like his picture. And yet not really either.
In person he was bonier than in his photo. Now a runner/cyclist body type , rather than the meatier version. He wore linen pants which were high waisted and I chose not to judge them, and enjoyed that he obviously enjoyed his summer trousers.

The oysters arrived and we ate them. All the while discussing....nothing really, just chit chat.
He told me about his last girlfriend. Dead. Then he told me about his other last girlfriend, also dead. He told me that his aunt passed away yesterday. She was a dear friend to him. He told me that he had not wanted to cancel our date. To which i told him I appreciated it. Then he told me he was cutting this short as he was meeting his son to go see some family. To which I replied that I appreciated that he came and met me but perhaps tonight was one of those situations where one must with regret, cancel But also that it'was nice that he was interested enough to have first contact.

Then we were on our way home. He offered me a ride in the rain to a bus stop. I took what I could get.
He dropped me into the night at the corner of Parliment and King and he drove off in his 1985 Lincoln Town Car, which I found out, was bestowed to him by his parents who are alive and well and living in London Ontario. Yes. It did indeed have an eight track player.

I don't know the man well enough to say that linen pants and town cars mean anything or do not mean anything. I know that I got home and made myself a decent dinner. I did text him and say thank you and have further noted that there have been no incoming messages from him.

I think I dodged being #3!

The Disappeared Reappeared

You might recall an earlier posting about men bearing books never to be seen again...
Well, the other day I missed my bus and was waiting for the light to change when who should
I run into but Mr.UN Advisor. He either didn't see me or hoped he was invisible but I said to him
"Hello Mr.UN"...he did a pretty admirable job looking genuinely surprised and an even better job of
looking slightly sheepish. So we were kind of forced to make nice and walk together. I didn't say anything
about his disappearance, and neither did he. We just walked awkwardly up the street.
I asked about his next posting and he replied that they were sending him to Afghanistan. I smiled ever so sweetly and said "Oh dear, I remember you saying that was the last place you wanted them to send you. That's really too bad". I really wanted to say "gosh, I sure hope a stray bullet doesn't get you in the ass, asshole".
But why go there with this jerk?
 It's enough to know that they are sending him to hell.

Will Get To The BLEEP Later...

Could anything be more scarier than waking up from a bad dream to
find a strange man standing in silhouette at your bedroom door?
There may be a few things scarier than that but the other night I awoke
from a really bad dream, to see a man standing in my doorway, only to
wake up from that dream within a dream. It was so scary.
And I was alone. My kids were at their dads as it was his week with them.

I couldn't get back to sleep. I went on Facebook. I called my friend and talked.
I was very grateful that my friend took my 4:00 am call, and grateful that another
friend said I could reach them on Facebook anytime they were online.

I hate to say it, but I really wished there was a man that I liked in my bed that night,
and not an imaginary madkiller lurking in the doorway!

is my life for rent?

I'm feeling down.
And this blog is turning out to not be a dating advice blog.
I have no suggestions or advice.
I have anecdotes to share.
My co-blogger, is , as I  mentioned  moving in with her lover,
and I'm not a big dater. So not really certain of content.
My silly dating escapades? Would anyone want to read that?
Although I do think you might if somewhat bored, because so far,
it has been funny.

I like the idea of Drink Sleep Bleep.


I'll get around to changing the blog description.

It may always read like something you read in high school,
and maybe that's the point.

Next time I'll write about the "bleep".

I don't want to curse this...

I've met a man through a very good friend of mine.
Okay, he's a lover and this is weird that he would set me up with another man.
On the one hand, it's kind of ego crushing when a man "gives you away", but he's not
really giving me away, our relationship is casual although we're really good friends and
care a lot about each other. He is, who he is and doesn't want anything too serious and sees
other women. He's always been honest with me about things.

In the past, other than casual dating, I haven't been in a position to think seriously about anyone
so this "relationship" of ours really works for us both. However, I've been separated for a year and
a half and think it's safe to say there will be no reconciliation with the spouse. My friend thinks I
should date more and said he had a friend who would be perfect for me. I said, fine, give him my number.

We spoke on the phone for a while and realized quickly that we had a lot in common. We decided to meet for a drink. We went to one of my favourite pubs and drank Guinness and had a meal. Then he took me home and gave me a nice kiss. He did something that drives me wild, he cupped my chin in his hand, kissed me and then left.
We exchanged daily emails....the numbers of which are in the hundreds at this point. We decided to have dinner. We had a lovely time and again, he took me home, gave me a small kiss and left.
"I want to go slow" is what he said. I sort of thought he might not be interested but was being nice because my friend told him to "be nice to her. Treat her well, she's very dear to me"...
I know, I know, it is really weird.

Then, out of the blue, the man invites me to go to Ottawa with him on business. We took the train.
Business class no less. We had plenty of time to talk that's for sure. Then we arrived at the hotel we were starving so we went to the restaurant and had some drinks and a nice meal. We stood at the bar and talked to a bunch of people he knows because he's there a lot. Then we went to the room.

We weren't going to do anything intimate. We really weren't. But then we did. All night. His meeting was for 10:00am and he left the hotel at noon....just a little late. I hung out and strolled the city and Parliament Hill.
Then we met back at the hotel for a cab to the train and the long ride back.

This weekend he took me to breakfast at a pub near my house. He dropped me off, did that cupping of my chin again, and left me.
He phoned on the ride home to say that he "wants to take things slow"...I guess that's a good thing, but oh boy it's also frustrating. I'm glad he called because he wanted to reassure me that he's interested.
He's also the sort of man who walks on the curbside, opens doors and even gets out of his car when he picks me up and opens the door for me! A perfect gentleman. A great lover.


We'll have to wait and see how this whole thing goes, but given my record, we've been on 3 dates and he's still calling me so it's a step up I say.

What do I do now? Send my friend a thank you card?

A lawyer that seemed “nice”

I recently spent a lovely afternoon at the Ritz Carlton with a friend. We shared some oysters, a champagne cocktail, few martinis and swapped dating stories. She told me that I should add an entry on this blog. I have minimal writing experience, so this may be a bit rough around the edges.

Having found myself plunged back into the dating world after a 20 year hiatus, I signed up on a popular online dating site. I started to converse with a charming lady that happened to be a lawyer – a group of people that I am not particularly enamoured with. But she seemed very “nice”, was well grounded and prompt replying to emails. After a couple of weeks, we decided to meet for a drink after work on a Friday. She told me that she liked martinis, so I suggested the Four Seasons which I think serves one of the best martinis in the city. Our first date lasted about 1 ½ hours and went great, so we decided to have dinner the following week. I made reservations at an excellent Italian restaurant owned by one of those TV chefs. The food and service were perfect. Our conversation flowing and she was very charming, funny and attentive.

By the time I got home, she had already sent me a cute email thanking me for dinner and asking me what I was doing on the weekend. Like a lot of 40 somethings, I have a busy and stressful career, so on weekends I like to lounge around in jeans and not wear socks. I didn’t want to put on the suit and tie, and go out for a fancy meal, so I invited her over to my condo for a swim and then we would grab some chicken wings at this sports bar which was conveniently connected to my condo. She loved the idea and shows up on Saturday at 8pm.

I made her a Grey Goose martini and I think she was impressed by my mixology skills and iTunes music selection. After our drink, we spend an hour splashing around in the pool, where I found out that she can’t really swim. I guess they don’t teach that in law school. I asked her why she agreed to go swimming and she said that she was just trying to be nice. I asked her if she likes chicken wings and she said “not really”. We both had a good laugh and went up to my condo, where I ordered a sushi tray and chocolate cake for our dinner.

Relaxing on the sofa after dinner, things got amorous and we retired to the bedroom for some vanilla – almost boring – sex. Fast forward to the next morning and she asked me for a coffee. No coffee, broken coffee maker, no sugar, no cream. So off I truck to Starbucks for her grande non-fat cappuccino. I come back with some biscotti and a newspaper too. I try to engage in some witty banter but she is totally engrossed in reading the paper. I didn’t think too much of it and went for a shower. When I came back into the bedroom, she was doing some crosswords, still not in the mood for conversation and she had turned my clean white sheets into a mess from the ink off the newspaper.

My Spiderman sense was tingling at this point that maybe she wasn’t so nice and a bit inconsiderate. She then asked me if I had anything to eat. Some leftover chocolate cake, vodka, wine, water and ice are all that I had in my kitchen. I offer to take her anywhere she wants to go. She replies that she is feeling lazy and wanted to stay in – batting her eyelashes and giving me the sad eye treatment. Time for this date to end.

The Monday she emails me saying that we should have dinner. I deleted the email and never saw her again. While I am a novice in this new age dating scene, I am smart enough to recognize someone that is only pretending to be nice. She never once even offered to pay for anything. She didn’t hesitate for a second when I paid for her valet parking at the Four Seasons and ordered an expensive bottle of wine that she only drank half of. While I am not the richest man in the world, I like to think that I am generous and don’t mind paying but you do have to make the gesture of offering. Isn’t that just the polite thing to do?

Don’t get me wrong, she was not totally evil. She was smart, accomplished, had a wickedly sexy wardrobe and fantastic legs. But like a lot of 40ish, successful women, I think she was very set in her ways and looking for someone to cater to her. She was also just playing nice the few first times we met, to entice me. Maybe this is just normal and to be expected. But I could see the writing on the wall and definitely didn’t want to spend my precious free time with her.

I have no secrets...

I JUST LOVE THIS VIDEO AND THIS WOMAN