I recently spent a lovely afternoon at the Ritz Carlton with a friend. We shared some oysters, a champagne cocktail, few martinis and swapped dating stories. She told me that I should add an entry on this blog. I have minimal writing experience, so this may be a bit rough around the edges.
Having found myself plunged back into the dating world after a 20 year hiatus, I signed up on a popular online dating site. I started to converse with a charming lady that happened to be a lawyer – a group of people that I am not particularly enamoured with. But she seemed very “nice”, was well grounded and prompt replying to emails. After a couple of weeks, we decided to meet for a drink after work on a Friday. She told me that she liked martinis, so I suggested the Four Seasons which I think serves one of the best martinis in the city. Our first date lasted about 1 ½ hours and went great, so we decided to have dinner the following week. I made reservations at an excellent Italian restaurant owned by one of those TV chefs. The food and service were perfect. Our conversation flowing and she was very charming, funny and attentive.
By the time I got home, she had already sent me a cute email thanking me for dinner and asking me what I was doing on the weekend. Like a lot of 40 somethings, I have a busy and stressful career, so on weekends I like to lounge around in jeans and not wear socks. I didn’t want to put on the suit and tie, and go out for a fancy meal, so I invited her over to my condo for a swim and then we would grab some chicken wings at this sports bar which was conveniently connected to my condo. She loved the idea and shows up on Saturday at 8pm.
I made her a Grey Goose martini and I think she was impressed by my mixology skills and iTunes music selection. After our drink, we spend an hour splashing around in the pool, where I found out that she can’t really swim. I guess they don’t teach that in law school. I asked her why she agreed to go swimming and she said that she was just trying to be nice. I asked her if she likes chicken wings and she said “not really”. We both had a good laugh and went up to my condo, where I ordered a sushi tray and chocolate cake for our dinner.
Relaxing on the sofa after dinner, things got amorous and we retired to the bedroom for some vanilla – almost boring – sex. Fast forward to the next morning and she asked me for a coffee. No coffee, broken coffee maker, no sugar, no cream. So off I truck to Starbucks for her grande non-fat cappuccino. I come back with some biscotti and a newspaper too. I try to engage in some witty banter but she is totally engrossed in reading the paper. I didn’t think too much of it and went for a shower. When I came back into the bedroom, she was doing some crosswords, still not in the mood for conversation and she had turned my clean white sheets into a mess from the ink off the newspaper.
My Spiderman sense was tingling at this point that maybe she wasn’t so nice and a bit inconsiderate. She then asked me if I had anything to eat. Some leftover chocolate cake, vodka, wine, water and ice are all that I had in my kitchen. I offer to take her anywhere she wants to go. She replies that she is feeling lazy and wanted to stay in – batting her eyelashes and giving me the sad eye treatment. Time for this date to end.
The Monday she emails me saying that we should have dinner. I deleted the email and never saw her again. While I am a novice in this new age dating scene, I am smart enough to recognize someone that is only pretending to be nice. She never once even offered to pay for anything. She didn’t hesitate for a second when I paid for her valet parking at the Four Seasons and ordered an expensive bottle of wine that she only drank half of. While I am not the richest man in the world, I like to think that I am generous and don’t mind paying but you do have to make the gesture of offering. Isn’t that just the polite thing to do?
Don’t get me wrong, she was not totally evil. She was smart, accomplished, had a wickedly sexy wardrobe and fantastic legs. But like a lot of 40ish, successful women, I think she was very set in her ways and looking for someone to cater to her. She was also just playing nice the few first times we met, to entice me. Maybe this is just normal and to be expected. But I could see the writing on the wall and definitely didn’t want to spend my precious free time with her.
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