I'm feeling down.
And this blog is turning out to not be a dating advice blog.
I have no suggestions or advice.
I have anecdotes to share.
My co-blogger, is , as I mentioned moving in with her lover,
and I'm not a big dater. So not really certain of content.
My silly dating escapades? Would anyone want to read that?
Although I do think you might if somewhat bored, because so far,
it has been funny.
I like the idea of Drink Sleep Bleep.
I'll get around to changing the blog description.
It may always read like something you read in high school,
and maybe that's the point.
Next time I'll write about the "bleep".
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
I don't want to curse this...
I've met a man through a very good friend of mine.
Okay, he's a lover and this is weird that he would set me up with another man.
On the one hand, it's kind of ego crushing when a man "gives you away", but he's not
really giving me away, our relationship is casual although we're really good friends and
care a lot about each other. He is, who he is and doesn't want anything too serious and sees
other women. He's always been honest with me about things.
In the past, other than casual dating, I haven't been in a position to think seriously about anyone
so this "relationship" of ours really works for us both. However, I've been separated for a year and
a half and think it's safe to say there will be no reconciliation with the spouse. My friend thinks I
should date more and said he had a friend who would be perfect for me. I said, fine, give him my number.
We spoke on the phone for a while and realized quickly that we had a lot in common. We decided to meet for a drink. We went to one of my favourite pubs and drank Guinness and had a meal. Then he took me home and gave me a nice kiss. He did something that drives me wild, he cupped my chin in his hand, kissed me and then left.
We exchanged daily emails....the numbers of which are in the hundreds at this point. We decided to have dinner. We had a lovely time and again, he took me home, gave me a small kiss and left.
"I want to go slow" is what he said. I sort of thought he might not be interested but was being nice because my friend told him to "be nice to her. Treat her well, she's very dear to me"...
I know, I know, it is really weird.
Then, out of the blue, the man invites me to go to Ottawa with him on business. We took the train.
Business class no less. We had plenty of time to talk that's for sure. Then we arrived at the hotel we were starving so we went to the restaurant and had some drinks and a nice meal. We stood at the bar and talked to a bunch of people he knows because he's there a lot. Then we went to the room.
We weren't going to do anything intimate. We really weren't. But then we did. All night. His meeting was for 10:00am and he left the hotel at noon....just a little late. I hung out and strolled the city and Parliament Hill.
Then we met back at the hotel for a cab to the train and the long ride back.
This weekend he took me to breakfast at a pub near my house. He dropped me off, did that cupping of my chin again, and left me.
He phoned on the ride home to say that he "wants to take things slow"...I guess that's a good thing, but oh boy it's also frustrating. I'm glad he called because he wanted to reassure me that he's interested.
He's also the sort of man who walks on the curbside, opens doors and even gets out of his car when he picks me up and opens the door for me! A perfect gentleman. A great lover.
We'll have to wait and see how this whole thing goes, but given my record, we've been on 3 dates and he's still calling me so it's a step up I say.
What do I do now? Send my friend a thank you card?
Okay, he's a lover and this is weird that he would set me up with another man.
On the one hand, it's kind of ego crushing when a man "gives you away", but he's not
really giving me away, our relationship is casual although we're really good friends and
care a lot about each other. He is, who he is and doesn't want anything too serious and sees
other women. He's always been honest with me about things.
In the past, other than casual dating, I haven't been in a position to think seriously about anyone
so this "relationship" of ours really works for us both. However, I've been separated for a year and
a half and think it's safe to say there will be no reconciliation with the spouse. My friend thinks I
should date more and said he had a friend who would be perfect for me. I said, fine, give him my number.
We spoke on the phone for a while and realized quickly that we had a lot in common. We decided to meet for a drink. We went to one of my favourite pubs and drank Guinness and had a meal. Then he took me home and gave me a nice kiss. He did something that drives me wild, he cupped my chin in his hand, kissed me and then left.
We exchanged daily emails....the numbers of which are in the hundreds at this point. We decided to have dinner. We had a lovely time and again, he took me home, gave me a small kiss and left.
"I want to go slow" is what he said. I sort of thought he might not be interested but was being nice because my friend told him to "be nice to her. Treat her well, she's very dear to me"...
I know, I know, it is really weird.
Then, out of the blue, the man invites me to go to Ottawa with him on business. We took the train.
Business class no less. We had plenty of time to talk that's for sure. Then we arrived at the hotel we were starving so we went to the restaurant and had some drinks and a nice meal. We stood at the bar and talked to a bunch of people he knows because he's there a lot. Then we went to the room.
We weren't going to do anything intimate. We really weren't. But then we did. All night. His meeting was for 10:00am and he left the hotel at noon....just a little late. I hung out and strolled the city and Parliament Hill.
Then we met back at the hotel for a cab to the train and the long ride back.
This weekend he took me to breakfast at a pub near my house. He dropped me off, did that cupping of my chin again, and left me.
He phoned on the ride home to say that he "wants to take things slow"...I guess that's a good thing, but oh boy it's also frustrating. I'm glad he called because he wanted to reassure me that he's interested.
He's also the sort of man who walks on the curbside, opens doors and even gets out of his car when he picks me up and opens the door for me! A perfect gentleman. A great lover.
We'll have to wait and see how this whole thing goes, but given my record, we've been on 3 dates and he's still calling me so it's a step up I say.
What do I do now? Send my friend a thank you card?
Saturday, May 14, 2011
A lawyer that seemed “nice”
I recently spent a lovely afternoon at the Ritz Carlton with a friend. We shared some oysters, a champagne cocktail, few martinis and swapped dating stories. She told me that I should add an entry on this blog. I have minimal writing experience, so this may be a bit rough around the edges.
Having found myself plunged back into the dating world after a 20 year hiatus, I signed up on a popular online dating site. I started to converse with a charming lady that happened to be a lawyer – a group of people that I am not particularly enamoured with. But she seemed very “nice”, was well grounded and prompt replying to emails. After a couple of weeks, we decided to meet for a drink after work on a Friday. She told me that she liked martinis, so I suggested the Four Seasons which I think serves one of the best martinis in the city. Our first date lasted about 1 ½ hours and went great, so we decided to have dinner the following week. I made reservations at an excellent Italian restaurant owned by one of those TV chefs. The food and service were perfect. Our conversation flowing and she was very charming, funny and attentive.
By the time I got home, she had already sent me a cute email thanking me for dinner and asking me what I was doing on the weekend. Like a lot of 40 somethings, I have a busy and stressful career, so on weekends I like to lounge around in jeans and not wear socks. I didn’t want to put on the suit and tie, and go out for a fancy meal, so I invited her over to my condo for a swim and then we would grab some chicken wings at this sports bar which was conveniently connected to my condo. She loved the idea and shows up on Saturday at 8pm.
I made her a Grey Goose martini and I think she was impressed by my mixology skills and iTunes music selection. After our drink, we spend an hour splashing around in the pool, where I found out that she can’t really swim. I guess they don’t teach that in law school. I asked her why she agreed to go swimming and she said that she was just trying to be nice. I asked her if she likes chicken wings and she said “not really”. We both had a good laugh and went up to my condo, where I ordered a sushi tray and chocolate cake for our dinner.
Relaxing on the sofa after dinner, things got amorous and we retired to the bedroom for some vanilla – almost boring – sex. Fast forward to the next morning and she asked me for a coffee. No coffee, broken coffee maker, no sugar, no cream. So off I truck to Starbucks for her grande non-fat cappuccino. I come back with some biscotti and a newspaper too. I try to engage in some witty banter but she is totally engrossed in reading the paper. I didn’t think too much of it and went for a shower. When I came back into the bedroom, she was doing some crosswords, still not in the mood for conversation and she had turned my clean white sheets into a mess from the ink off the newspaper.
My Spiderman sense was tingling at this point that maybe she wasn’t so nice and a bit inconsiderate. She then asked me if I had anything to eat. Some leftover chocolate cake, vodka, wine, water and ice are all that I had in my kitchen. I offer to take her anywhere she wants to go. She replies that she is feeling lazy and wanted to stay in – batting her eyelashes and giving me the sad eye treatment. Time for this date to end.
The Monday she emails me saying that we should have dinner. I deleted the email and never saw her again. While I am a novice in this new age dating scene, I am smart enough to recognize someone that is only pretending to be nice. She never once even offered to pay for anything. She didn’t hesitate for a second when I paid for her valet parking at the Four Seasons and ordered an expensive bottle of wine that she only drank half of. While I am not the richest man in the world, I like to think that I am generous and don’t mind paying but you do have to make the gesture of offering. Isn’t that just the polite thing to do?
Don’t get me wrong, she was not totally evil. She was smart, accomplished, had a wickedly sexy wardrobe and fantastic legs. But like a lot of 40ish, successful women, I think she was very set in her ways and looking for someone to cater to her. She was also just playing nice the few first times we met, to entice me. Maybe this is just normal and to be expected. But I could see the writing on the wall and definitely didn’t want to spend my precious free time with her.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Margot's gone AWOL
I mean she's gone on A Wild Orgasmic Loveaffair!
Margot re-met a guy she used to know in high school on facebook.
They went out for a drink and ....five months later, he's moving into her
house at the end of the month.
I've met him and he's great for her so I couldn't be happier for her.
But she's not blogging anymore about her dating disasters and adventures.
So, it's just going to be me, and hopefully, the occasional guest blogger.
This may mean I'll have to date more just to provide content...but that's unlikely.
It most likely means that any stories my single friends tell me will end up posted on
here as an anecdote.
Margot re-met a guy she used to know in high school on facebook.
They went out for a drink and ....five months later, he's moving into her
house at the end of the month.
I've met him and he's great for her so I couldn't be happier for her.
But she's not blogging anymore about her dating disasters and adventures.
So, it's just going to be me, and hopefully, the occasional guest blogger.
This may mean I'll have to date more just to provide content...but that's unlikely.
It most likely means that any stories my single friends tell me will end up posted on
here as an anecdote.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Beware of Men Bearing Books
Well, it has been several months since I've posted.
Things have been busy and sometimes the whole dating thing
just gets beyond amusing and turns into frustration.
Take men bearing books for example.
I went on a date with a very nice firefighter, and no, I didn't meet him on the date where I burned my date's kitchen, though, that would have been a nice tie in.
I met him online. Nice guy. We went on one date, he took me to his neighbourhood way out in Ajax. Nice place by the water, although, you could never get me to live out there. We then went for dinner at Boston Pizza. What can I say...we were in Ajax and perhaps they only have chain restaurants out there. It was a nice simple date. The man had a very distinguishable mustache, which I think a lot of firefighters like to have for reasons mysterious to me. So I named him Captain 'Stache. A week later, having not heard a word from him I dubbed him Captain Disappeared. Three weeks later, he asked me out again. This time it was dinner at a restaurant near me. We had a very nice time again and he walked me to the door and gave a brief kiss and drove off into the night by 10:30pm. Then, he disappeared again. Then reappeared. He told me that he had been dating another woman. Then he went on to tell me that this other woman seemed really together - she had a good job and owned her own condo. I wondered if this implied that he didn't think that I had my shit together. He went on to tell me that they'd dated for three months and finally the day they were to have sex for the fist time arrived and they went to his house. I have been to this man's house and I could tell that he's a clean freak. In fact, we made out a bit there on our date and before leaving for dinner, he went to wash his hands. His house was very very clean. Anyone could tell that this guy is, if anything, a clean freak. Apparently not this woman he was dating. She asked him to go wash his hands before they got into bed. He said "I just washed my hands and brushed my teeth" She insisted that he go do it again because she didn't see him do it. I asked if he were insulted, and of course he was. But no matter, there was a task at hand so they got into bed. Then she told him that she operates from the hip.....He asked her what that meant and she said it meant that she wouldn't give him a blowjob. Ever. He told me that he nearly kicked her out then and there, but instead took her home later....and won't see her again. I told him, it's a pity that he chose to put me on the back burner for this woman. Didn't they discuss sex likes and dislikes during the three month courtship? Indeed not. So he asked me on another date and I thought, "why not"...Again he came to my neck of the woods and wanted pancakes. So out for pancakes we went and had a very nice time strolling along College St. and window shopping. We went into a second hand bookstore and enjoyed looking at the books. He thought I'd like a certain book and bought it for me. We then spent a few hours talking while sitting on a bench in the Spring sunshine. Very nice afternoon. I had an engagement for the evening and had to leave. He emailed me the next day to say that he'd had a lovely time, hoped I liked the book and it was a pity that I had to cut the date short as he was enjoying himself. Nice. I emailed back to thank him for the book and that I too had a nice time. It's been over a month and a half and he is henceforth known as Captain Disappeared For Good.
Back online again, I met a man who is an adviser to the UN. He's eccentric and intellectual and quite fun.
We went on a date for coffee. That was nice. It was only a few hours but I liked him enough to go for a second date. We decided we'd have some wine at my place. He arrived direct from his flight from New York - where presumably he was advising the UN. He very sweetly had thought of me whilst in a bookstore and purchased a nice edition of The Ancient Mariner. How nice is that! We drank wine, watched the news and made out. He had suggested that he might stay overnight and I said that I wanted to think about that, as no men sleep over. He did not seem offended. Then later, near midnight said that he would go home because he had to get up at 5a.m. and that would be unfair to me. Which is true. Why would I want to get up at 5am on a Saturday? So, we kissed goodnight and I offered to call him a taxi but he said not to and he would flag one down.
I emailed MrUN the next day to thank him again for the book and mentioned I had a nice evening. That was just over a week ago and I have yet to hear from MrUN.
I have a feeling that if a date bestows me with a book again....I will no doubt throw the book at them!
Things have been busy and sometimes the whole dating thing
just gets beyond amusing and turns into frustration.
Take men bearing books for example.
I went on a date with a very nice firefighter, and no, I didn't meet him on the date where I burned my date's kitchen, though, that would have been a nice tie in.
I met him online. Nice guy. We went on one date, he took me to his neighbourhood way out in Ajax. Nice place by the water, although, you could never get me to live out there. We then went for dinner at Boston Pizza. What can I say...we were in Ajax and perhaps they only have chain restaurants out there. It was a nice simple date. The man had a very distinguishable mustache, which I think a lot of firefighters like to have for reasons mysterious to me. So I named him Captain 'Stache. A week later, having not heard a word from him I dubbed him Captain Disappeared. Three weeks later, he asked me out again. This time it was dinner at a restaurant near me. We had a very nice time again and he walked me to the door and gave a brief kiss and drove off into the night by 10:30pm. Then, he disappeared again. Then reappeared. He told me that he had been dating another woman. Then he went on to tell me that this other woman seemed really together - she had a good job and owned her own condo. I wondered if this implied that he didn't think that I had my shit together. He went on to tell me that they'd dated for three months and finally the day they were to have sex for the fist time arrived and they went to his house. I have been to this man's house and I could tell that he's a clean freak. In fact, we made out a bit there on our date and before leaving for dinner, he went to wash his hands. His house was very very clean. Anyone could tell that this guy is, if anything, a clean freak. Apparently not this woman he was dating. She asked him to go wash his hands before they got into bed. He said "I just washed my hands and brushed my teeth" She insisted that he go do it again because she didn't see him do it. I asked if he were insulted, and of course he was. But no matter, there was a task at hand so they got into bed. Then she told him that she operates from the hip.....He asked her what that meant and she said it meant that she wouldn't give him a blowjob. Ever. He told me that he nearly kicked her out then and there, but instead took her home later....and won't see her again. I told him, it's a pity that he chose to put me on the back burner for this woman. Didn't they discuss sex likes and dislikes during the three month courtship? Indeed not. So he asked me on another date and I thought, "why not"...Again he came to my neck of the woods and wanted pancakes. So out for pancakes we went and had a very nice time strolling along College St. and window shopping. We went into a second hand bookstore and enjoyed looking at the books. He thought I'd like a certain book and bought it for me. We then spent a few hours talking while sitting on a bench in the Spring sunshine. Very nice afternoon. I had an engagement for the evening and had to leave. He emailed me the next day to say that he'd had a lovely time, hoped I liked the book and it was a pity that I had to cut the date short as he was enjoying himself. Nice. I emailed back to thank him for the book and that I too had a nice time. It's been over a month and a half and he is henceforth known as Captain Disappeared For Good.
Back online again, I met a man who is an adviser to the UN. He's eccentric and intellectual and quite fun.
We went on a date for coffee. That was nice. It was only a few hours but I liked him enough to go for a second date. We decided we'd have some wine at my place. He arrived direct from his flight from New York - where presumably he was advising the UN. He very sweetly had thought of me whilst in a bookstore and purchased a nice edition of The Ancient Mariner. How nice is that! We drank wine, watched the news and made out. He had suggested that he might stay overnight and I said that I wanted to think about that, as no men sleep over. He did not seem offended. Then later, near midnight said that he would go home because he had to get up at 5a.m. and that would be unfair to me. Which is true. Why would I want to get up at 5am on a Saturday? So, we kissed goodnight and I offered to call him a taxi but he said not to and he would flag one down.
I emailed MrUN the next day to thank him again for the book and mentioned I had a nice evening. That was just over a week ago and I have yet to hear from MrUN.
I have a feeling that if a date bestows me with a book again....I will no doubt throw the book at them!
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