Okay, I knew dating after hitting the big 4-0 was going to be no piece of cake. But when was love every cake? Except of course after a break up when all I can eat is, well, cake.
But life can't be all cake and champagne or can it?
I just ended things with a man I'd been dating for three months. He was handsome. He made decent money. He was single. He was great in bed. But there were reasons.
Reason for break up number one: And here it gets tricky, he had poor aim.
The first time it happened I figured it was an accident. Maybe he was drunk. Maybe the floor with its dark brown color made it hard to see. Or maybe he was that careless. Just what am I talking about? Ladies, and gents, the man missed the bowl and peed on the floor. My bathroom floor. I know it was pee because what other liquid turns a soaked tissue yellow on contact? It wasn't water put it that way.
But then it kept happening. Every time he slept over and used the loo I would pad into it after and sure enough my barefoot would hit the puddle at the base of the toilet.
Did I ever say anything? No. Why not, you ask? Because I was polite. I didn't want to embarass him. I kept thinking he'd realize it and clean up after himself. Add to this habit a constant leaving up of toilet seat and well, he had to go, but not in my bathroom ever again.
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